I recently read a story published in Homemade magazine in 1999 that serves as an excellent illustration of the importance of a father’s influence in a child’s life.
The story is about a young man who committed a crime and was sentenced by a judge who happened to know him since childhood. The judge was acquainted with the man’s father, who was also a famous magistrate and legal scholar who authored an exhaustive legal study.
“Do you remember your father?” asked the judge. “I remember him well, your honor,” the young man replied. In an attempt to probe his conscience, the magistrate said, “As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?”
According to the story, the young man paused, looked up, and said, “I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy; I’m busy!’ When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying, ‘Run along, son; this book must be finished!’ Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend.”
Whether the article’s illustration is a true story or fiction, it certainly reflects the reality to many young people in America and the world. According to data collected from the U.S. Census Bureau in 2017, 19.7 million children lived without a father in the home. The numbers translate into more than 1 in 4 children growing up without a father’s daily influence.
Many research studies have been conducted concerning the impact of a father’s presence in a child’s development. According to research published by the University of Pennsylvania, children who have a close relationship with their father are “twice as likely to enter college, 75 percent less likely to have a child in their teen years, 80 percent less likely to be incarcerated and half as likely to show various signs of depression.” Likewise, a 26-year-long study published in 1990 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Dr. Richard Koestner concluded that “the number one factor in developing empathy in children was father involvement.”
Whether through social or psychological conclusions, there is no question that a child raised by a loving and present dad is much more likely to become a successful adult. And that success transmutes not only to the outcome of his or her life but also into their adult relationships. Furthermore, our connection with our earthly father can also affect our view and understanding of God.
Our connection with our earthly father can also affect our view and understanding of God. #MondayMotivation #MondayDevotional #FathersDay Click To TweetIndeed, many believers’ faith in a personal God is affected by how they relate to their fathers. If a dad is caring, patient, and involved in a child’s life, it becomes natural for that person to believe that God has the same traits. The opposite can also occur if a person deals with a harsh, absent, or demanding father.
I have personally been blessed with a loving and supportive earthly father. Growing up, my dad was not only caring and patient but also very involved in my life. Therefore, when I became a Christian, believing that the same God who parted the Red Sea could be interested in my life has never been an issue. I read my bible with full expectancy and belief that my heavenly father is highly involved in my life and desires to bless, protect, provide and guide me, just as he did to those men and women in scriptures.
Unfortunately, however, many of God’s people have not had the same experience. Therefore, their expectations from God may mirror what they have received from their earthly father: not much.
If that is you today, I pray you wrap your heart around this truth: Even the best of dads fall short compared to God.
God is not like your dad.
You are like your dad: flawed, broken, and in need of a heavenly father. You may not be able to trust your earthly father because he has disappointed you time and again. But you can trust your God.
You may not be able to trust your earthly father because he has disappointed you time and again. But you can trust your God. #MondayMotivation #MondayDevotional #FathersDay Click To TweetSo, if your dad is not around, or you feel like you don’t have enough reason to celebrate your earthly father this Sunday, why not honor God instead? He is certainly worthy and deserving of your love and devotion on Father’s Day… and every day.
This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Saturday – June 20, 2020. Read it on the AJC website HERE.
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Blessed to have had an amazing, caring earthly father, Patricia. I feel so sorry for all those children who have grown up, or tried to, without one.
Blessings!
Hello Patricia, thanks for writing such an insightful post. I must say I disagree with the title. You see, I was not blessed with a loving and supportive earthly father yet I have a very loving and supportive Heavenly Father that I trust implicitly. That relationship is what matters most to me above all else. When my mother and father have forsaken me, the hand of God continues to hold me close.
Praise the Lord, Yvonne! I would suggest you read Debbie’s comments below. My sentiment concerning the title mirrors the insight she shared in her comment. God heals our brokenness but, as a general rule, it is not uncommon to find people’s difficult relationships (or lack of) with their earthly father impacting their level of trust in their Heavenly Father. I am so grateful that you are found in the other side of the spectrum. You are in good company – as Debbie shared, amazing Christian leaders such as C.S. Lewis and Josh McDowell share the same experience. Blessings to you!
Me too, Martha.
Hmm, I don’t know if there’s a correlation as much as a revelation when you realize the character of your Heavenly Father compared to your earthly father. There’s a vast spectrum between loving and present and indifferent and absent. My experience falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. I’m grateful that my heavenly father supersedes any expectations I have of my earthly father.
I don’t think that everyone necessarily sees the correlation, Nylse, but studies show that in many ways our relationship with our earthly father impacts our view of God. Debbie’s comment on this post is really great concerning the issue. Blessings to you!
I’ve found this to be true. I didn’t grow up in a Christian family and only went to church occasionally. I knew there were ways God was not like my Father, that He was perfect, kind, and overall better. But my father had a lot of anger, and I thought God was always extremely angry with me. Thankfully I also saw examples of kind and patient fathers. And as a teenager, when I became a Christian and started reading my Bible, I discovered God for who He really is. I am still discovering more about Him after 40+ years.
what a beautiful testimony of redemption, Barbara! Thank you for sharing your heart!
Whether the story of the lawyer and the young man is fictional or not, it is definitely memorable! Thanks for sharing, Patricia. Thanking God for the Heavenly Father he is!
Thank you, dear Bethany!
I am most grateful to have had a dad who loved me and was always there for me. I am also grateful for the healing God brings to those who may not have been blessed with a dad who was present. Our heavenly Father makes Himself known and like Nylse shared in her comment above, He supersedes any expectations one may have had of their earthly father. It is most amazing the manner of love He has for His own.
Amen, Joanne! To have a great earthly father is certainly the best of both worlds!
Patricia, this is an excellent article. When I studied biblical counseling I was shocked to see the correlation between how we look at our earthly fathers and how we look at our heavenly Father. We filled out inventories on how we think our dad would respond to us in different situations. Later in the course we filled out the same inventory on how we expected our God to react in the same circumstances. I was shocked to see that where my dad was strict I expected God to be also. Where Daddy had a sense of humor I thought God did too. There is also a direct correlation between a person’s relationship with their father and becoming an atheist. But God has healed some of them who went on to become great ambassadors for Christ, such as C. S. Lewis and Josh McDowell.
So much truth here, Debbie. I am not a counselor, but certainly, believe that there is a correlation with the two fatherly relationships. Thanks for sharing your insights!
The illustration of the lawyer who was too busy to be a father will stick with me for a long time! As a workaholic (recovering!), I find this to be sobering.
Thank you, Jerralea! It made me think about my relationship with my kids too. It is a sobering story.
So much truth here.
Thank you, Lauren!
This is such a wonderful post, Patricia! I was truly blessed to have a really AMAZING earthly father and reading this brings back such sweet memories of our time together. My Dad unexpectedly passed away of from a heart attack in his sleep when I was a senior in high school which was almost 18 years ago. But to this day, The Lord still comforts my heart, loves on me, and reminds me daily that He is my heavenly Father.
Thank you so much for sharing and thank you so much for hosting! Blessings to you! 🙂
Oh, Tai! I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to you. I have an 18-year-old who is a daddy’s girl. I am so grateful that God has been your daddy since then, guiding and comforting you. Blessings to you!